Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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