escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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