im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
tell me about the fingering
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