I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
