normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
