Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
