would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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