His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
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Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
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do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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