Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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