I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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