i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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