Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
