just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
did you just send me my own nude
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
