Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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