This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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