You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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