Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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