I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
