Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
