therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
