and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
