definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
