drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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