if i can run in heels then i can drive
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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