You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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