i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
