she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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