The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
