We won't sleep together?
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
