For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
