this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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