loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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