i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
