Swine flu. Run for my life!
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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