hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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