I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
