This is not my ceiling
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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