the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
