The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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