the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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