Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
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He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
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Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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