i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
