Don't you send me to vm
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
