Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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