wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
