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i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
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I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
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Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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