he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize