the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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