if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
