who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
