the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
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