..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she smelled like a LAN party
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
