I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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