I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
