There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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