then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize