I just made out with a guy for $7.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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