Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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