I think I died a long time ago.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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