the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
false alarm, still single
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
